Page 15 of 20

Work in Progress – Self Portraits

janeafrancis Leave a comment

I’ve been working on a series of self-portraits recently, drawing mostly, with the intention of doing some paintings as well. They are portraits of my right eye, which I noticed looked different to the other one, and also different to how it used to look before the retina damage which has made it lose central vision. It looks ‘blown’, with a darker and larger pupil and isn’t focussing – as if its desperately seeking for more information. At first (and perhaps still) it looked frightened, and to me it expressed the fear and pain I had experienced. I felt that it had ‘looked into the abyss’. In the drawings I am trying to capture both the physical change, and also to express some of the fear and loss.

This drawing is a double self portrait. in the background a drawing from a photograph i took in  a mirror – not long after I came out of hospital. in the foreground a portrait from life 8 months later.

The woman in the photo looked raw, thin faced, with a fearful look in her right eye. I wanted to document any changes since then. This idea will probably form the basis of a painting. 

Quote: Mrs Beddows in ‘South Riding’ by Winifred Holtby

janeafrancis Leave a comment

“And who are you to think you could get through life without pain? Did you expect never to be ashamed of yourself? Of course that hurts you. And it will go on hurting. You needn’t believe much what they say about time healing. I’ve had seventy years and more of time and there are plenty of things in my life still won’t bear thinking of. You’ve just got to get along as best you can with all your shames and sorrows and humiliations. Maybe in the end it’s those things are most use to you.”

Quote: Teresita Fernandez

janeafrancis Leave a comment

“In those moments when you feel discouraged or lost in the studio, or when you experience rejection, rest completely assured that what you don’t know about something is also a form of knowledge, though much harder to understand. In many ways, making art is like blindly trying to see the shape of what you don’t yet know. Whenever you catch a little a glimpse of that blind spot, of your ignorance, of your vulnerability, of that unknown, don’t be afraid or embarrassed to stare at it. Instead, try to relish in its profound mystery. Art is about taking the risk of engaging in something somewhat ridiculous and irrational simply because you need to get a closer look at it, you simply need to break it open to see what’s inside.”